Only Fools Fall In Love
by Seanait
Summary: Jack and Sam are at it... again... (My first ship ever) w.i.p. PG-13 for safety
1. Am I Dreaming?

Only Fools Fall In Love

_Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate, kind of a good thing though…_

Jack sighed, something he'd been doing a lot of recently. He was walking around the SGC aimlessly at the moment thinking of a favorite major of his. _For Christ's sake,_ the colonel thought, _we already sound like a married couple! Though, that wouldn't be all that bad…_He thought about the very odd scenario he and Sam Carter had played out early…

**Six Hours Before**

Jack walked around the corner to enter Sam's lab and say hello before leaving on vacation given to SG-1 as a reward on saving Earth from impending doom… again.

"Oh Carter? Soo…when are ya…" he paused when he strolled in. Major Carter was balanced precariously on top of a bookshelf trying to reach something. Jack stopped and put his hands on his hips. "What the hell are you doing up there Carter?" he wondered. She turned around to face him, while trying to keep her balance, and flashed a gorgeous smile at him. He melted at the sight of it.

"Hi sir, I'm trying to reach a paper that I did on the Stargate before the first team went through to Abydos." Jack walked over to help her find the thing. He noticed a stool next to the shelf that made getting on top of the bookshelf much easier; Sam must have passed right over it in her haste. The two were facing each other over the dusty top of the shelf and Jack smiled. Carter moved some of the papers around, dust flew, and it **_all_** went up Jack's nose.

"AAAAHHH-CHHHOOOOO!!!" That started the domino effect. Sam laughed, startled at the sneeze and lost her balance. She fell from the shelf onto her desk and finally to the floor. Jack flew backwards, hit the wall, and crumpled at the base of it. Jack held his ankle in pain while Sam lay on the floor, still laughing somehow. She was nursing a broken arm from hitting the desk side. Daniel happened to be walking past, seeing if any of his friends wanted to go to dinner with Teal'c and him. He heard the loud crashes and thumps on the floor. The last thing he heard, before actually seeing it, was Sam's weak laughing. Daniel walked in the room slowly.

"Jack? Sam?" Daniel asked suspiciously. "What happened?" Jack rolled onto his knees and tried to get up, but only fell back down.

"And up… ah, no. No ups for me…" he muttered. Jack peeked out of the corner of his eye to see his friend standing there, in Sam's doorway, giving them both a very strange look. The colonel resigned to looking at the ceiling. "Hi Daniel."

"Hi Jack… uh, what's up?" Daniel wanted to know. He was contemplating calling the infirmary, if the two needed it. Jack stole a look at Daniel again before answering.

"The ceiling, why?" Hearing Sam still giggling at something, he rolled over onto his stomach. "Carter? How are you?"

Sam inched her way over to a wall and propped herself up against it and giggled slightly. "Daniel? Colonel?" she acknowledged.

"Hello Sam," the archeologist greeted slowly. She flashed a silly grin at both of the men. "Sam, you didn't answer Jack's question, how are you feeling after that?"

"I'm drunk." With that she passed out.

Sam found herself in the infirmary, not to long after her mishap with her bookshelf. She looked over and got to see the colonel have a **big** shot shoved up his butt. For what, she didn't know. She suppressed a laugh at the poor man's face. Actually, Sam thought, the nurse's face was funnier after hearing Jack. She sat up in the bed and noticed that her arm was held in a sling. Frasier popped up at Sam's side.

"Hey Jan? What's up?" she wondered. What had she done? Had she been the reason for the needle that had recently gone up his ass?

Frasier turned her head to the x-rays that were hanging up and looked back at her friend. "Actually Sam, I was hoping you could tell me that." Jack, though on crutches, hobbled over to her and Frasier shot him a look that could have easily brought down a herd of elephants. "Colonel, you're supposed to be resting your ankle… **_in bed!_**" Jack looked up at her, but he resigned to his post in the bed, but not without a rebellious comment.

"Napoleonic power-monger…"he muttered to himself. Frasier looked proud. "So Carter, what the hell were you doing on top of that bookcase anyway??" He decided, for the moment, not to bring up the face that she was truly drunk at the time. Sam thought, and thought hard.

"I was looking for a paper that I did a long time ago, before you and your team went through the gate to Abydos… that's all I remember…" she trailed off. Jack and Janet could tell she was a little worried. It was natural if you experienced memory loss.

"Are you sure that's all you remember after looking for the paper?" Frasier asked kindly. "Do you know why you were looking for it Sam?"

"No, I don't quite remember, I think… General Hammond… wanted it… oh no," she remembered quite clearly now. She looked at O'Neill and blushed horribly. That's when Janet knew that it had to be something between her and the colonel, but as she looked at Jack, he shows no signs that he knew it as an inside joke. In fact, he looked utterly confused. Sam tried to explain as best she could.

"It was yesterday, I was in my lab working on that new reactor we brought back from P9X-753, I was trying to see if I could get it to be more stable by adding more atoms to it so it would become more stable. After that, I went…" Jack interrupted.

"Carter! There's going to be no more technobabble, understood?" he ordered.

Sam nodded. "There wasn't going to be anymore, sir." Jack nodded in understanding and sarcasm. The major continued. "Anyway, I was heading towards your office, where we had that… conversation…" Jack remembered that. It had a lot to do about love, money, and dinner. Sam had declined Jack's invitation to Minnesota, again, dinner, and free time together because she had to work on the reactor do-hickey. Janet pretended not to know what they were talking about. "Sometime after leaving your office and coming back to mine, I must have dosed off on my desk. I had an… interesting dream sir." Sam refused to meet his gaze and immediately Jack had an idea at what the dream was about. Janet paled and blushed at the same time. Frasier checked her watch.

"Ooh! I have to go to a meeting with the general," she said sincerely. "I'll leave you two alone so Sam can finish her story." With that, the short doctor left. Jack thanked her silently. Both of them were sitting upright in their beds and had they legs hanging over the side. Once Janet left, Sam sighed deeply and warned hid CO.

"Sir, this is… awkward, but I know you have a million questions for me, so please, try not to interrupt me," she pleaded. He smiled sarcastically.

"Ya sure, ya betcha!" he grinned. Sam joined him.

"Okay, my dream, right…" Sam took a deep breath before continuing. "I had this dream; it was you and me… in your house. I was driving around and,"

"Found yourself there," they both finished and smiled. "Right, you invited me in for a beer and/or wine and I graciously accepted." Jack nodded at this. "You invited me out to dinner at O'Malley's, which I also accepted." Jack smiled this time knowing that his 'love' couldn't turn down a decent, proper steak at the local place. "We went, meet Daniel and Teal'c and we played pool and drank… a lot…even you were surprised sir. After I passed out the first time, you took me back to your house and… 'invited' me into your bedroom…" Sam blushed and it spread all the way down her neck. Jack was amused.

"Sir, I don't have to explain what went on, do I?" she asked imploringly.

"No," _But I wouldn't mind if you did, Samantha…_

"Thank you sir," she was massively relieved. "Well, anyway, somehow I ended back up in my office and I thought it was still part of the dream or that it was all real." Sam gulped hard; she didn't believe she was actually admitting this to her commanding officer. "So I avoided you and went straight to O'Malley's and picked up a few hard drinks, sir."

O'Neill looked skeptical. "A few major?" he remarked sarcastically. Sam blushed and whispered very quietly; first she looked around to see that there was no one else to hear her confession.

"I had eight hard whiskeys…sir," she murmured. Jack was taken back; he didn't know that the major was that hardy!

"Eight?!" he whisper-yelled. "Eight **_hard whiskeys_**?! God Carter, I knew you were hardy, but not **_that_** hard." He was gonna go nuts! Eight whiskeys to what?... to help her forget?! Oh no… "Carter?" he said softly and firmly. He grabbed her chin as it tried to pull away. "Look at me Carter." Their eyes, one set brown and the other set blue, matched and neither tried to drop their gaze. "Were you trying to forget what happened in your dream or what you thought was the real world?" he prompted. "Why?" The brown eyes held their own as he searched though the depths of Sam's soul to find the elusive answer. Now Jack was amazed that he was coming out with this. "Don't you love me?"

Sam pulled away, refusing to meet his eyes. Neither said anything for a while. She looked up, slowly, at her friend and co-worker, more importantly, her commanding officer. "Yes, I do. You know that sir," she stated as the love and caring for him flew into her eyes. Jack put a silent finger to her lips and shook his head.

"Not sir… Sam, not when we're alone." She nodded slowly. They both came together as Jack went to get off her bed, too close. They halted in time. They both urged together then back, afraid to break regulations and each other's hearts. Jack finally decided. He backed off cautiously; he didn't have Sam hurt in any other way. Sam wanted her way. She grabbed at O'Neill with her one good arm. _Ah, what the hell_, Carter thought.

"Carter…" he protested, yet made no movement to resist it. Sam started to get a little frisky in the mouth, as if she was trying to get in years of happiness into one moment. Jack started to protest slightly again. "Mmrmmrmm…. Mrgmmm, marmer…" but Jack started to get himself involved as well. Sam pulled apart and Jack jumped back, thinking that Sam had seen someone watching them.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!" Frasier ran in.

"What happened?!"

* * *

My muse is demanding reviews before putting up anymore.... those muses...... 


	2. Removal

Jack started to get himself involved as well. Sam pulled apart and Jack jumped back, thinking that Sam had seen someone watching them.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!" Frasier ran in.

"What happened?!"

Jack looked at Sam knowingly, but she wasn't paying attention due to the pain in her arm and ribs. She wheezed a bit. "Jan, I'm fine, honestly…" she protested, but with no avail.

"Major, I want you lying back down in that bed," Janet ordered and Sam knew better than to argue with her. Unfortunately, Jack didn't. "As for you colonel, you are to stay off that ankle until it heals, it'll get much worse if you don't. You stay in bed and I'll release you at the end of the day, if you don't then…" she shrugged.

"But…."

"No, colonel, in bed." Looking at her no-nonsense stance and the hearing the firm tone of voice, he grumbled his way back over to his bed.

"When will Sam be okay?" Jack wondered.

"I'm fine!" Janet turned to Sam with a glare.

"Now what happened colonel?" Janet demanded to know. Any risk to her patients must be dealt with.

"Well, she was in the bed and I hobbled over," he said.

"And…"

"We talked."

"Colonel…" the voice warned and he sighed.

"When we were talking, she rolled over and hit her ribs," he lied carefully. Sam peeped up.

"I ignored it at first, but then the colonel went to sit on the bed and the bounciness and the pressure of the bed bouncing back, hurt my ribs again. That's all." Sam was good at doing this, making up cover stories for whatever. So Janet was convinced. She sighed and left.

"I'd better not find you two up and about, is that understood?" she looked pointedly at Jack.

"With protest."

"Yes, Janet." She left to talk to Hammond. Jack rolled over to face Sam.

"So, would you like to talk about the conversation we had the other day?" he asked conversationally. "We're gonna be stuck in here for a while."

She sighed. "Yeah, sure." She turned her head to see Jack and he could see the love and pain in her eyes.

"I love you Sam, I think you know that," he confessed. Sam was touched, she knew it alright, but he'd never confirmed it.

"I know Jack, I love you too. But when you said what you did in your office… I…" Jack knew what she meant and didn't mention it so that he didn't have to reopen old wounds. But they both remembered clearly.

**The Day Before**

Sam stood into Jack's office. He'd emailed her wanting to know something. She was intrigued of course. Anything having to do with Jack was purely fascinating. She knocked.

"Hey Carter," he greeted. She waved cheerfully. Her day was going quite well.

"Hello sir, doing paperwork?" she asked. He sneered at the pile of papers that had amounted on his desk. He was almost never in there. Jack spread his hands to show her the other side of the fruits of his labor.

"See what I get? We save the world and all I get is paperwork!" he groaned and resumed a 'happy' face and smiled at her.

"You wanted to see me?" He nodded.

"Have a seat, if you can find one…" She grabbed a chair from across his room and sat down in it.

"Sooo…" Sam pried. Jack sighed. He sounded miserable.

"Sam… you know how I … care for you." Sam nodded silently. "And I know that eventually… both of us will want it to go somewhere," Jack was wringing his hands. He was downright nervous and Sam couldn't believe that he was coming out with it so readily. In fact he'd spent the last two hours trying to think of what to say… and it had all gone to waste…

"Jack, eventually, I think I want to marry you," Sam answered kindly. Pressured by paperwork and having his nerves stretched thin, he almost snapped back.

"Sam that's exactly what we can't do! Don't you see? Both of us love this job… and don't tell me that you would give it up for me, because I wouldn't let you. I do love you, but… or jobs are on the line…" Sam had heard enough, she assumed that he didn't love her any more. She tensed up and Jack could tell she was going to leave. He'd said that much harsher than he had intended to.

"Carter, I just don't want to see you get hurt…" She raged at him. Apparently, the project she was working on also had her nerves frayed.

"I don't need your protection, **_sir_**. I'm a big girl now; I can take care of whatever I choose to get involved in! If I want you love you, fine, but if you don't want to love me back, that's fine with me too!!" She didn't mean the words she said and immediately regretted saying it, but her pride didn't allow her to apologize and Jack's didn't allow him to forgive. There was a hard look in Jack's face and a sadness in his eyes. Sam knew it was her that had put it there and she hated herself for doing so. Jack was cold and quiet when he spoke.

"Fine then major, I don't need you either. You are dismissed." Sam almost ran out of his office, but stopped to glare at him first and walked out slowly, as if to show him that his words hadn't bothered her. But she was only fooling herself. Jack collapsed on his desk, in close to tears, after Sam left. He'd just lost the love of his life. She hated him now for saying that. Sam ran to her own office and sat down in tears, something she shouldn't have been caught doing, but she didn't care anymore. Her Jack was gone to her forever. She hated the cold and cruel words that had come out of her mouth, she didn't mean them, but he couldn't have known that.

"Oh god, what have I done?" she moaned. An hour later, she cried herself to sleep.

Jack thought about her for hours after. Gods, had he screwed up. _You've done it again, O'Neill, broken your woman's heart,_ he thought miserably. How could he **_ever_** make it up to her? That is if he could… he was sure that she hated his guts about now, but he knew that he didn't meant exactly what he'd said, maybe she didn't. He sighed. It was best to ride out the storm and approach it tomorrow when she'd, hopefully, gotten rest and maybe forgave him.

---------------------------------------------

**Back in the Infirmary**

"Sir, remember this morning, when you came and made up to me?" Sam wondered. How could he forget…

"Yup."

He'd gotten up real early, knowing that if Sam was mad, then she'd be up working on her thingamabobbers. Besides, he wanted to smooth this over before the day actually started and could be ruined. He ruffled his hair, yawned, and tried to look awake as he hoped that a specific major would be in her lab. He walked in. Sam's back was turned to him and came up with a brilliant idea. He came up behind her, silent as a ghost and grabbed her 'round the waist for a hug. Sam giggled. All was well so far! She'd laughed! He set Sam down and she turned to face him.

"Are you here to say something to me, colonel?" she asked in mock seriousness. Her tone of voice didn't reach her eyes, for they smiled at him, apparently she'd forgiven him. Jack returned the sarcasm.

"Yes, major I am," he retorted carefully, it wasn't usually that Sam made up with him so quickly, not that they'd ever gotten into that big of a fight…

"Do you forgive me?" she pondered, batting her eyes. She'd never done that before, but he overlooked it.

"Do you forgive **_me_**?" he asked, also batting his eyes. They smiled and answered.

"Yes." Jack clapped his hands together.

"Right then, so we're all good?" Sam nodded. "Good, because I need to catch some sleep, it ran away last night," he joked. Sam smirked at him and he left.

"Carter, you're telling me you thought that it was all part of your very elaborate dream?" She nodded and paused.

"I didn't know you knew that word…"

"What word?" he asked curiously.

"Elaborate." Now he knew that Sam had been joking around and scowled. This caused Sam to laugh.

"I have my charms, when I feel like it," he mentioned. Jack continued the conversation. "So when you fell off the shelf…"

"It pushed me off, sir, I swear!" she added sarcastically.

"Right, when it _pushed_ you off, that's, as far as you knew, when you woke up?" Sam nodded somberly and soberly. "Oh." After that, the day was rather uneventful, stuck in the hospice all day long, but he didn't get up… well, except to go to the little boy's room, but he stayed down otherwise. Jack wanted to go home at the end of this… and he wanted to take Sam with him. Once in a while, they played imaginary cards or real cards after lunch when Janet scooted them together. Jack had pie for dessert, after Janet scowled at him. His favorite, yum. At about three in the afternoon, the good ole doc came back for them.

"Colonel, how's your ankle doing?" She actually allowed him to get up and walk on it.

"It's fine," was the automatic answer, but at least this time, Jack meant it. Unfortunately, Janet didn't believe him. So after much poking and prodding, Janet reluctantly relieved Jack of the infirmary and his crutches, which she knew his wasn't going to use anyway.

"What about Sam?" he asked after a few moments. The doctor smiled at him.

"She's going to be fine, now go home and get some rest. Tomorrow I'm letting on light duty." Janet knew, immediately, what the next question form his mouth was going to be.

"Can I take her home?" The doctor smiled inwardly, she'd been right.

"To **_her_** house, colonel. She can call if she needs us." Now the protests were under way.

"But she'll knew someone to take care of her if she falls or something like that," he argued. Janet had every intention of letting him take Sam home, but he didn't need to know that. She liked arguing with the colonel, it was… amusing.

"Now colonel, she needs some time at home to recoup. After that, she can call you and ask if she can come over, understood?" Janet looked resolute in her point, so Sam joined the conversation.

"Jan, I'm fine, really. It was just a fall and after four hours of being in here, I think I'm fine." Sam jumped off her bed and bowed. It was a little stiff, but she was good. Janet glowered at the two. She poked and prodded at Sam to see if she was really hurting or not. After that being done, Janet relented.

"Fine colonel, you can take her, but she so much as breathes too hard, you are to report her to me. Is. That. Understood?" the doc said slowly. Jack nodded.

"Yes. Ma'am," he answered and turned to Sam. "Let's go now…it's too boring here." He winked at Janet and she knew that he was secretly glad for helping them.

Once in the elevator, they exchanged a swift, but intimate kiss. Sam laughed with glee.

"Want lunch, err… dinch? Lunner?" he tried to make up words for this kind of meal. Sam nodded. "Which one do you want? Dinch or lunner?" he asked sarcastically.

Sam pretended to think real hard about the choices. "Lunner with do, sir," she said in a petite and formal way. He almost thought she'd meant 'sir' in a military way and almost protested. That is until he realized the accent she used. They both laughed joyfully.

They walked out to Jack's truck and Jack, being the perfect gentleman of course, opened the door for her. She dazzled him with a smile and clambered inside the roomy beast of a car. Jack hopped in beside her in the driver's seat. He turned the truck on and rumbled how of the base.

"Where do you want to go?" Jack asked without looking at her. Sam tried to decide.

"Uh, I don't know… anything good around here?" Jack shrugged.

"I dunno, I never pay attention. I pick up my burgers and go," he remarked causally. She smiled.

"Then let's get burgers, sir."

After their rendezvous with cheeseburgers and fries, they went to Jack's house, a nice little place to settle down for the rest of the day. Jack got Sam comfortably positioned on the guest bed. She protested that she wasn't hurting, but Jack saw the mild pain in her face. He wasn't going to allow her to injure herself anymore if he had anything to do about it. They settled in. Sam's hand brushed Jack's thigh, causally, almost a mistake, but it lingered there a moment to long. O'Neill responded by placing his hand on her thigh and tickled it. She giggled in response, the result he'd been looking for. ESPN looked on innocently as the two made their proceedings. Nothing very intimate of course, just touches and kisses. Carter wasn't well enough to be taken to bed, yet. Two hours flew by as the friends watched T.V. Then Jack's beeper went off. He looked at the number and called.

"Sir?"

"_Hi, Jack, sorry about this, I know you're taking care of Major Carter, but you need to come back in. It's up to the major whether she wants to come or not, but be here ASAP._"

"Yes, sir, I get it. I'll have Thor beam me over." A chuckle fell on the line.

"_No need for that colonel, it's not that serious…remember that plant? The one that threatened to overrun the base?_"

"Yeah, don't tell me…"

"_Yup and guess who's taking it back…along with some friends, ASAP colonel,_" and the phone hung up before Jack had a chance to answer. He looked at the phone suspiciously and dropped it back on its hook. O'Neill gathered up his jacket.

"Sam, Hammond just called me back in, apparently that evil plant wants the base for itself again. You're welcome to come…or stay. I think if you come, you'll be forced to the infirmary…" When Sam heard that, she changed her mind.

"Actually, I'm quite comfortable, thanks though." Carter pecked Jack on the cheek and he returned the favor.

"Now you behave, missy, I want to come back and actually find this place… not gone because of a reactor or a science project gone wrong, hear me?" he asked with mock sternness.

She snapped a perfect salute, at least as well of one as one could who was lying on the couch. "Yes, sir!" He saluted her back and left. Sam sighed, damn, did she love that man…


	3. Plant Life

Jack walked into the briefing room and into Hammond's office, stopping to knock of course. The general was talking to Sergeant Davis and that doctor… what's his name? Ah, the plant guy!

"… gotten into the computer system, sir," the sergeant was saying to Hammond as Jack invited himself in. George looked up from talking with them.

"Ah, Jack! Glad you could join us," he greeted. Jack looked suspiciously at his CO. A side glance really.

"Soo, what's up general?" he asked conversationally. Hammond looked at the two standing before him. They shrugged in apology. Jack lifted an eyebrow – something he'd picked up from Teal'c. "So what's this about it getting into the base computer?"

Davis spoke up. "Apparently, sir, it has invaded the computers searching for a place to grow or-"

"A place to **_grow_**?"

Plant guy nodded nervously. "Come on colonel."

Hammond gave a curious little chuckle. "You're gonna love this Jack." Jack gave him the look of mock terror. Davis led them into the Control Room and out into the hallway. Jack looked up at the Control Room ceiling; there was some growth that he hadn't noticed when he came in. It was beginning to look like a jungle – and feel like it too. He saw Siler working on something.

"Siler? Broken thermostat...?"

"Not my job, sir."

"Right." They kept moving. Davis noticed the comment on the heat, so did the plant doc.

"Colonel we think that the plant is using the electricity to make a suitable environment for itself."

"Oh? How's it coming?" Jack countered sarcastically. The doctor and sergeant didn't bother answering. Down the hall they went until Jack and Hammond found themselves in the stairwell. The elevator had been working minutes ago, but apparently the plant had now invaded that too. Jack made a disgusted hand gesture towards the stairs.

"Stairs sir? I didn't even know we had stairs…"

"After you colonel." Jack bowed his head in thanks.

"Thank you sir." They walked up a couple flights to arrive at a very green place. The guard blocked the door until the doctor showed his pass. The Marine allowed entry, but watched them very closely as if they were going to harm the plant. Little did he know… A doctor posted on the other side of the door handed the doctor/scientist a machete. Jack stared at it.

"A machete?"

The doctor nodded solemnly. Jack looked out in front of him to see… green.

"Sir, did you forget to tell the SGC to stop partying after St. Patrick's Day. I mean this is a little out of hand sir." Hammond chuckled genuinely.

"Yes colonel, it is." They kept going into the forest. Jack snapped his fingers.

"I knew something was up." The leafy plants were EVERYWHERE. There was not a spot of gray to be seen, it actually a nice change, but… phew! did it stink! Just then Daniel walked up behind the party. Jack gave Daniel a strange look and wrinkled his nose.

"Hey Jack."

"Daniel."

"Where's Sam?"

"At home," he choked. "A little much on the green, don't you think Danny? I mean I know you **love** St. Paddy's Day, but…" Daniel lifted both eyebrows and settled them again. He commented the walls.

"Yeah, but I **_love _**green…" Daniel mentioned sarcastically. O'Neill didn't fail to notice that Daniel also had a machete in his hand. He pointed it out.

"You too?"

Daniel nodded. "Yeah."

"You know how to use it?" Daniel threw him a condescending look. Daniel walked off and Jack followed. Daniel hacked and chopped his way through his already made path. Jack winced.

"See how fast it grows back? I cut this path a couple of minutes ago." Jack nodded. Daniel led them both into a lab where a bunch of scientists and doctors were working on something.

"What's this?" Jack asked curiously.

"All the base doctors, scientists, and botanists are here to try and stop the plant. They're engineering a genetic disease for it so that the rest of the base doesn't have to know about this… at least that's what I think they said," Daniel mused. Jack put on a blank face.

"So they're trying to kill it?"

"Yeah basically." Daniel snagged a fruit off of a loose vine and bit into it. Jack watched in fear.

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Uh, no. They," he pointed to the scientists, "said that it was safe… and really good." Daniel walked off towards the workers. Jack looked suspiciously at the offending vine of fruit. It was taunting him. He grabbed one too. _Hey, what the heck?_ He thought. _It's not gonna be around much longer…_Daniel turned as Jack was going to bit it. It was a slightly different color than Daniel's, but Jack figured that it wasn't ripe or something.

"No Jack! Not that one!!!" Daniel yelled. All the scientists turned to face the drama. Jack stopped the fruit at his mouth and stood there. Daniel pried the fruit from his fingers and tossed it down the corridor.

"Isn't that littering Danny?" The other man shrugged. Daniel carefully searched through the branches for the right fruit and plucked it off. He tossed it to the bewildered colonel.

"That's the right one Jack. Eat **that** one." Jack bit it. His eyes widened in delight.

"Wow." He stated it simply, simply enough to know that Jack liked it a lot.

"Daniel, how do you find these things?" he asked. Daniel was delighted. Fruit hunting got him away from whatever other work he had to do.

"Hold on." Daniel went to go ask the scientists if the formula was due anytime soon and got Jack a machete too. "Let's go."

So, for the better part of two hours, Jack and Daniel scoured the base for the strange fruits. They found that the best places were in the MALP room and near open electricity. Jack's hands had gotten overfilled so they had to go get a collection basket. Well, actually, they stole it. It was used for getting samples of the vine, so they washed it out thoroughly and used it. Jack's hands were smeared with the purple-pink coloration of the fruit and its pulp. His basket was topped with the odd colored fruits which Jack had colorfully named the Boraples (**bore**-a-pulls) because they tasted a little like bananas, apples, oranges, and something else. Daniel's hands were smeared a darker color, more purple-ly because he'd been pulling at the deadly fruits as well as the good ones.

"Jack, I don't know how long they'll last or even if they go bad," Daniel warned. Jack shrugged. The little thing had a bunch of seeds too, so by accident they could plant a new species of plant on Earth, if they weren't careful enough. Daniel knew what plans Jack had for the Boraples. He was probably going to bring them back for Sam since she was missing out on it. Daniel missed very little… depending on what it was. That did sometimes include the health of his friends.

"Jack, how's your ankle?" he asked innocently while Jack was washing the fruit. He stopped and flexed it.

"Barely even hurts now, that healed fast… I guess Frasier isn't always right," Jack mentioned. He didn't think it was that strange, though it was kind of odd. He knew that from that kind of fall, he should have been still limping. Jack figured it was psychological. Daniel, on other hand, noticed something else.

"Jack, you were still limping when you came up here… and before you started to eat the fruit…" he trailed off. Jack and Daniel looked at each other, eye to eye, and ran back to the infestation site.

"You guys can't kill it!" "Hold it, you guys!" Daniel and Jack yelled at the same time at the scientists. They looked at the two strangely. Jack held his hands up in mock submission.

"Look, I know this is odd, but you guys need to run some… tests... on the plant." The scientists looked at Daniel for translation.

"Get Doctor Frasier in here. Now." One of the doctors dispatched himself from the group, took Daniel's machete, and ran to get Frasier, as the phones probably didn't work.


	4. Revival

A/N: This chapter is shorter than the rest, sorry, but I couldn't think of how to progess it..... ot only that, but I **_had_** to do something with that plant..... oh yea this is an AU in a sense, it's a little different from the storyline - Janet hasn't died, Hammond is still there, and Jack and Sam are still colonel and major in SG-1.

* * *

Within moments, Janet Frasier was there. Dressed in jungle-like gear, she arrived with her medical equipment on the scene. Was someone hurt? She couldn't have been sure. The lesser doctor had just said that Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jacksonwanted her and now. Frasier remembered Jack's previously sprained ankle and prepared, but it wasn't necessary, as she noticed when she arrived.

"Colonel? You asked for me?" she inquired. He nodded. Janet set her stuff down on a desk nearby. "What is it?"

Jack and Daniel looked thoughtfully at each other, and then Daniel spoke.

"Ah, Janet? We need you to… look at Jack's ankle. Please," he added for politeness. Frasier looked kind of confused. But she agreed to do so, thinking that Jack might have hurt himself – again.

"That hurt?" Negative. "How about now?" Negative again. Huh. "Well colonel, you're fine." Frasier tried to cover up her confusion as she gathered her stuff.

"How's Sam at home?"

"Good, she's fine, probably blowing up my house or something…" Frasier laughed quietly. "Doc, isn't it a little _odd_ for my ankle to have healed like that?" She sighed and Jack and Daniel knew that the colonel had pinned her.

"Yes colonel, now could you explain how you did that stunt? Was it Sam's idea?" Jack shook his head violently. It wasn't his beloved Sam!

"Nah, it was that fruit that's hanging around…" Jack waved his hand in the direction of the plant, "out there." Janet looked intrigued by the thought.

"Well, we think so, at least. See, Jack's ankle stopped hurting… err… he stopped **_limping_** after he started eating the Boraples."

"Excuse me?" Jack swelled in pride of the name, Daniel sighed.

"The fruit hanging all over the place, Jack named them Boraples." Frasier accepted this answer even though it was only half of what her expression had asked. It was a miracle fruit? It healed people faster than conventional medicines! It was overwhelming to say the least, but in some part of her brain, the good doctor remembered that many of the new cures came from the forest. The scientists looked at her questioningly whether or not they could start spreading their plant disease. Frasier shook her head.

"So, tell me about this fruit…


	5. Of Fruit and Men

Daniel and Jack enlightened Doctor Frasier of the situation, how to find the odd-colored fruit, and what led them to this find. They could tell Frasier was intrigued. They even let her have one of Jack's stock of Boraples. They wandered around the plant-infested level for a bit while they explained the odd fruit.

"So, you want me to find out if this fruit actually does work and if it's actually safe?" Frasier grinned; she'd added the last part. Daniel and Jack balked. They'd both eaten so many that they, of all people, by now would know if it was dangerous. They noticed the look on her face and realized that she **_must_** have been kidding, right?

Now with a job to do, instead of plant-watching (which was actually Jack's job), Frasier took off to her lab. Daniel and Jack continued down the hallway to the stairs.

"Ya know, military bases with stairs, what's the world coming to?"

"I know! I didn't even know we had stairs, much less this plant that seems to be growing around here."

"Yeah, I asked Hammond about that…"

"You did?"

"Yeah, he said it was left over from St. Paddy's Day – didn't I tel him about those Marines and their partying habits?"

"That you did."

"Well, look what good it's come out of it." Jack waved his hand at the once barren walls of the stairwell. Jack tripped and went sprawling down to the bottom of the floor. Daniel gleaned and smiled wryly. It was usually he that fell down things. Jack looked at the descending Daniel and scowled. The colonel picked himself up, dusted himself off, and continued down.

"Those pesky stairs – I knew there was a reason **_I_** never knew about them," Jack muttered unhappily.

Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose before responding. "Actually Jack, I believe it was that pesky plant tendril back there that… umph!"

Jack shoved the younger man and he too went falling down the stairs, except Daniel was holding the fruit. The purplely-pink fruits went flying. Daniel slumped against the wall, disheveled. One of the last Boraples bounced down the stairs and hit him in the head. It was too funny. Jack smiled.

"Rank hath its privileges Danny boy, rank hath its privileges," Jack admonished, not caring that Daniel didn't belong to the military chain of command. Jack grabbed his basket from Daniel's hand and started to rescue his beloved fruit. The archeologist reluctantly helped. When all the bouncing fruit had been recovered, Daniel stood tall against Jack.

"Do we have to take this outside?"

"I think so."

"Bring it on, fly boy," a common insult Daniel had picked up from the Marines en route to Air Force officers. The faced each other, fruit in a basket on the ground. They squared off.

"Knock it off you two." The voice seemed familiar. It was Hammond. They'd been caught in the act and both had very practiced innocent faces plastered on.

"Who me???"

---------------

Jack, Daniel, and Hammond arrived back in the Briefing Room, Boraples and all limbs attached.

"Colonel, aren't you supposed to be plant-sitting?" Hammond asked. Jack cocked his head and raised an eyebrow – a movement they'd all picked up from Teal'c.

"Actually, Frasier sorta dismissed me from it, sir."

"**_Doctor_** Frasier? Are you talking about the same woman as I am Jack?"

Jack nodded, sure of himself. "Yup, short, brunette, runs the infirmary like a napoleonic power-monger… yeah, I think so sir."

Hammond looked enlightened.

"Anyway, these fruits-"

"'Fruits' isn't a word, Jack."

"Yeah, it is."

"No it's not."

"Yeah it is, anyway these **fruits** seem to… uh… make people feel better?" Daniel nodded. Something like that. "So ole doc Frasier is working on them right now to see if they actually help or if they're-"

"Poisonous." They finished together. Hammond's eyebrows shot up.

"Poisonous?! You eat this fruit on an unknown plant and you don't even know if it's poisonous or not?" Not to mention the fact that the plant was living on base, which in itself made the thing unclean.

"Actually we do know if they're poisonous or not, the scientists working on it upstairs tested them for me and said that everything in the fruit such comply with human physiology."

"Basically, sir, I think it's safe…right?" Jack looked at Daniel and Daniel looked slightly lost for a minute and seemed to need time to think. A few seconds later he answered.

"What? Yeah, they're safe." Hopefully.


	6. Runaway Dots

Sorry for the wait, I have midterms next week (tuesday after Martin Luther King Day)so I was studying to my heart's content....woot..... so anyway,here it is!

* * *

Major Samantha Carter lay on the couch, trying to count how many little dots were on Jack's ceiling. She was bored.

"2203…2204…2205…220-phone… phone!" Her laptop lay on the side of the couch because she'd chucked it there out of desperation. Now she tripped over it on the way to the phone.

"Ow, dumb computer… Carter," she answered.

"Is my house still around?" Sam rolled over, on the floor, in glee. It was her Jack! She looked up at the ceiling.

"Yup, I think so."

"You think so?" came a playfully stern voice. She giggled. "So, how are you doing?"

Sam sighed. "I'm bored Jack, help me." Back at the mountain, Jack almost dropped the phone. Sam was bored??? Wow. Daniel walked by on the way to his office and saw Jack in shock.

"Jack? What's up?" O'Neill came out of it. Sam thought she heard Daniel's voice on the line.

"Daniel? Jack?"

"Daniel, Sam's bored." Daniel's eyes widened.

"Are you serious Jack, she's bored?" Now Sam could hear the conversation the two men were holding. She sighed wearily. She was right there.

"Hello, guys. I'm glad you two are eagerly discussing my boredom, but while you're at it, could you **_please_** get me some base duties!" The men snickered; they'd never heard Sam Carter so very insistent and annoyed. And of course add to that list utterly bored. "Jack you know you have 2206 dots on your ceiling," Sam said exhausted.

"I have dots on my ceiling?"

Now it was Sam's turn to snicker. "Yes sir, you have dots on your ceiling and I counted them so they wouldn't run away."

Now Jack knew Sam was bored if she wasn't working, or experimenting, but she was counting dots and being almost as sarcastic as Jack. That was scary in itself.

"Sooo… how's the plant sitting coming?"

"Not so good actually. This plant has fruit – really good fruit."

"Jack named them, would you believe it?" Daniel called over Jack's shoulder.

"Yeah, I named them Boraples because they taste a little like bananas, oranges, apples, and something else – they are good, not only that but… Sam? You still there?"

Silence reigned on the phone line.

"You ate a foreign plant?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Jack, you **_ate_** a strange, alien plant that was trying to take over the base?"

"So did Daniel, but-"

"I can't believe you! That fruit could have diseases not compatible with human genetics or stomachs. It could have some kind of natural poison that our stomach tract can't take; it could have some kind of micro-bug colony living in it. Jack, do you have **any** idea just what you might have done to yourselves?!"

"Carter-"

"I'm coming in sir." With that, Sam hung up the phone and got ready to arrive at the base.

"Jack, what happened?"

"She's yelling at us, well me, for eating the Boraples. She thinks that they could be dangerous." Daniel fixed his friend with a puzzled look.

"Didn't you tell her about its healing properties?"

"She didn't give me a chance." Daniel mouthed and 'oh' as Jack sighed heavily. "She's coming in too. I think she thinks that we all need a babysitter." Jack strode out the door of his 'office' and walked down the corridor, leaving Daniel to his own devices.


	7. Humorous Marines

sorry 'bout the wait.......too much darned studying and I haven't been able to or found the time to post this chapter.....its been hanging around for a bit, sorry......

* * *

Jack sighed, something he'd been doing a lot of recently. He was walking around the SGC aimlessly at the moment thinking of a favorite major of his. _For Christ's sake,_ the colonel thought, _we already sound like a married couple! Though, that wouldn't be all that bad…_Jack chuckled to himself, out of the prying eyes of the rest of the SGC. Carter was coming in, even though she was hurt. Of course, he had strongly objected to such actions. He was convinced that she couldn't even drive her car because of her minor head injury, not to mention her lungs and ribcage!

He was still wondering around when a call came for him to go to the briefing room, apparently Hammond needed to see him. Maybe it was about the Boraples…

A couple minutes later, he arrived in the presence of General Hammond and Dr. Frasier. It was about the Boraples after all.

"So doc, are they safe?" he asked even before Frasier could tell him why she was there.

"As far as we can tell sir, yes, but you still shouldn't have eaten them without applying the edible plant test."

"But we're here, at home where we have smart alecs, like yourself, that know if a plant is edible or not."

"Colonel, it's a foreign plant!"

"By the way doc, we did consult the scientists working on the plant upstairs if they could find anything harmful with it. And after all, it healed my ankle up nicely didn't it?"

"That's what I came here to talk about," Frasier sighed.

"Doctor Frasier here wants to take you for x-rays, MRI's, or whatever else she needs to do to determine how this fruit works, what its healing properties are, if there are any ill effects. If all goes well, then this fruit or maybe some extract of it, would contribute to our medicines. It would be a giant leap forward in the progress of healing the body. Hell Jack, for all we know, it might be the answer to stopping cancer and AIDS," Hammond explained carefully. Jack thought about this, he really didn't to become a lab rat to be tested on. The thought of being a lab experiment brought up to many painful memories of when he was captured in Iraq, but if he could get Danny to do it to then…

"What about Daniel sir? He did eat a lot of these things to, he already an expert on them. He knows the difference between the bad ones and the good ones. Can he do it to?"

Hammond looked at Frasier as she looked at him, both silently asking for permission.

"Sure, Doctor Jackson can come too colonel, if it will keep you from terrorizing my nurses, then the answer is yes."

Hammond fixed Jack with a wary eye at this comment. "Terrorizing the nurses Jack? That's an interesting one… you're dismissed."

Jack found himself stumbling around the base again, half looking for Sam and half looking for Daniel. His answer to where they were lay a couple floors above him, so he graced the staircase with his presence. When O'Neill walked onto the level, a green tendril snaked its way out the door. Jack moved out of the way quickly, and a good thing too. Three scientists, sweating, ran out the door, grabbed the sneaking vine, and ran back inside the mess, not to be seen for a while.

Jack looked amazed at the very strange sight. The Marine guarding the door chuckled. "They've been doing that ever time someone walks in or out, it's a sight for sure, sir."

Now Jack turned his gaze upon the Marine, not changing. He'd finally found a Marine with a sense of humor… wow. The guard now looked apprehensive. "Yeah, a sight for sure," Jack agreed with him wholeheartedly. It was pretty funny.

"You'd better get inside sir before the scientists come back to do their impression of S.W.A.T." the Marine smiled in good spirit. Now Jack was amused. What was this kid's name? SG-3 needed a good sense of humor…

Jack chuckled with him and gave him a mock salute. "Yes sir Major…Pier." Jack liked keeping people off-balanced, but this kid was good at catching up. The major reached behind him and grabbed a machete.

"You'll need on of these, sir, it's a literal jungle in there."

"Of course." With that, Jack chopped away the greenness at the door, made a passageway, and slipped through it. The Marine smiled and closed the door behind the humorous colonel.


	8. Major's Babysitting Service

Jeez... I'm really sorry that took me soooo long to put up, I had a massive attack of writer's block on this one, well now its here!

This might be a little confusing, the chapter starts from the POV of the doorsitting Marine than switches back over to narrator... so have fun!

* * *

Wow, was that really Colonel O'Neill? He's virtually my idol – well, sorta. He has saved the world, is on the flagship team, and lived to tell about it. Jack O'Neill just doesn't walk along giving people good comments. Not to mention, he's not supposed to be very nice to us Marines, at least that's what Tyms said. What does he know….? But the colonel really only acts loose and kind to his **_own_** people, not to a Marine, like me, who he doesn't know. He does have a good sense of humor though…huh.

I hope I'm not acting, err…. thinking too much like an overachieving, suck up, ecstatic lieutenant. You know, rearing and ready from the Academies and then an officer comes up to them and says good job for something minor and then they're all shocked and wicked happy.. euck. But I mean, who doesn't appreciate a good comment about humor? Especially from Colonel O'Neill? He took my good humored sarcasm, if I say so myself, from a lesser officer, a Marine, and someone he didn't know.

Cool.

I figure that I just caught him at the right moment. When the mini SWAT came out, he was probably rather amused and maybe a little taken back, well more than a little. On top of that, I came in and inserted a semi-unwarranted joke. He took it well, I think…

-

While the rather bemused Marine contemplated his fate, Jack pressed on to the core of the level – the scientists' lab. He heard gibberish coming from the area and winced. He knew what he was going to walk into. To his surprise, O'Neill found one Daniel Jackson trying to reason and actually understand the scientists. Several moments passed before Jack got bored. He coughed… somewhat politely.

Daniel barely looked up. "Hi Jack."

"Hi Daniel, long time no see. Ya know, I've been looking for you."

"Mmm… really?"

"Yeah… umm about Sam….?"

"Yeah, what about he-" Daniel ended his sentence short, finally looking up at Jack then to behind his left shoulder. Daniel peered over it and seemed the view wasn't all that great. Jack's eyes flashed a warning that said 'Danny, who is it that's behind me?'

Daniel lowered his head and gave Jack a quick smirk. "Run," he mouthed in advisory.

Jack mouthed back an "ah…" Sam was here.

"Colonel Jack O'Neill? May I speak with you please sir?"

_Yikes, she sounds like my mother_, O'Neill thought unhappily. Jack took a deep breath and spun to face an angry Major Sam Carter. She **_really_** wasn't happy with the two of them.

"Umm…" Daniel tried to insert. Blue eyes flashed as though they might take they're anger on the speaker as well. The archeologist took the warning and held up his hands in mock surrender. "Yes well I have something to do… uh over…… there!" With that the man picked himself up and scurried away from ground zero.

"Hello Carter, how are the ribs?"

"Just fine, thank you sir," she answered harshly. "Now, may I ask why you eat the fruit out there?"

The colonel decided she'd toed the line and became rougher with her. "No Carter, you may not, they were good and I ate them. They could be a medical breakthrough because they heal a patient faster." Jack smirked inwardly as his 2IC's face softened a bit, she was still mad at him, but because he told her this, she couldn't help but wonder what the fruit did.

"Is that your own conjecture or one from Janet sir?" she asked more nicely than before. He also began to relax his 'uptightness.'

"Nope, it's mine, Daniel's, **_and_** Janet's – so there."

"Huh. That's interesting; I'd better get down there to see if Jan needs my help."

"Right," Jack answered as she was leaving. "Oh, and Carter?" She stopped and spun to face him. "Please don't question my judgment."

She nodded. "Right sir." She hacked her way out of the lab.

"At least not much anyway," Jack mumbled to himself.

* * *

How was that? Feed me!


	9. We're Off to See the Doc

A/N: Sorry the chapters are taking so darned long, I have two projects due close to each other, so I was trying to get them done...(with no avail of course...lol)

Oh yeah, and for those of you that liked Major Piers... he's baaaack!

* * *

Farther down the hall, Sam fumed a bit, she had been nervous for him! Men sometimes, jeesh… She came to the door-sitting Marine who was still mumbling on about Jack. Carter stepped out onto the staircase and barely noticed the man until he started mumbling again.

"Still, that was cool…. I mean who gets to speak with Colonel O'Neill like that, or as a matter of anyone else from SG-1? I can name all of two… nope, three people. Sergeant Siler, General Hammond, and Sergeant Davis. Sweet… now I'm envious, I wanta work up there…" he pouted to himself. Sam smirked and took off before the Marine noticed her. On the level below the Marine, she laughed outright. It made up for her discussion with her commanding officer.

"Colonel… I think you have a fan club," she grinned and proceeded to Janet's office.

Back upstairs, Jack went to get Daniel from his unexpected 'job' and say what he was going to say before.

"Daniel… ugh, dumb plant…. DANIEL!" he called. A head with glasses on popped out of the green.

"Yup?"

"Ah, there you are. I'm supposed to tell you that we have to be lab rats for the doc."

"Ooh, sounds like fun."

"Yeah, fun, fun, fun."

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Do we gotta?"

"I think so."

"Damn."

"Yeah, I know. Now let's go before the good ole doc decides to shove anymore blunt needles in us than before."

Daniel nodded vigorously. "Yes." Now they too hacked their way through the invading plant.

-

_Out through the door again_, Jack sighed. Jack had been telling his friend about the amusing Marine who was door-sitting. Daniel laughed.

They finally made their way to the door and passed through it. The Marine straightened and stopped his ramblings. O'Neill and Daniel looked at each other.

"Hello," they said.

"Hiya sir, Dr. Jackson. How was your visit into plant world today?"

"Green… yes, very green. You Marines need to stop partying so much on St. Paddy's Day, ya know that?" Jack was shaking his finger at the Marine.

The major prompted a salute. "Yes sir! We need to stop partying sir!" he barked.

"Typical," Jack whispered to Daniel. The major and Daniel smiled. "Okay you amphibian, go back to your door-watching. I'll see you later," he mock threatened.

"Croak sir."

"Good man." With that Jack and Daniel took off to Janet's Lair. The archeologist turned to the colonel.

"You were right; he is pretty funny, for a Marine. Almost as good as you Jack. Are you seriously thinking of putting him on SG-3?"

"Hell, why not? I mean, SG-3 needs a good, healthy sense of humor. The doctor prescribed them at least one does every day."

"So then their health is failing."

"Miserably, failing miserably."

"Got it."


	10. My Blood, MINE!

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry! no fluff in this one, but fluff is coming! i had major writers block for this one... more coming soon, i hope

review and they'll come faster... lol

* * *

The two men arrived a few minutes later in Janet's office, more commonly known as the infirmary. With a little more arguing and another Boraple, they arrived in relatively good order – all in one piece that is.

"Colonel, Daniel, I'm gonna need a blood sample and a urine sample. Who wants to go first?" She waved a blood taking needle. Daniel ran off to the bathroom. Jack sighed.

"Me…" Unbeknownst to many, Jack hated needles – not that anyone liked them – but he'd been stuck with so many, he felt like a pincushion. After his beautiful blood was stolen from him, again, Jack headed to the bathroom. This is where he passed Daniel, with his urine cup.

"I asked her to give you the biggest honking needle she could find," he smiled evilly. Daniel scowled at him. When he reappeared, it seemed Janet **_had_** chosen the largest needle in the pack.

_The alpha needle…_ Daniel groaned inwardly. The doc, finally done torturing them, patted Daniel's band-aid lovingly and stole Jack's pee from him too. The colonel scowled at this and Daniel grinned.

"Ya know, I'm gonna need that one of these days!" O'Neill yelled after Janet. "You know, she's taken so much of that from me, I'm afraid I'm gonna run dry!" he confided to Daniel.

He nodded sarcastically. "I think you'll be okay."

"I think you've been hanging around me waaay too much."

"Now whose fault is that?" Daniel countered. Jack went silent.

"No comment."

"I thought so."

"What are you talking about! History is one of the most important things!"

"Ah, I say shoot em all and its over."

"Jack, I'm going to appeal to your nature."

"Oh yeah, and how's that?"

"How did you learn tactics and strategy?"

"Huh? Well, the instructors told us and we studied-" Jack clammed up and Daniel was incredible smug.

"Ha."

"Men?"

"Yes?" They could tell Janet was holding a fit of giggles in. She was biting her lip – a telltale sign.

"Okay, okay, just let it out," Jack sighed wearily. She burst out laughing hysterically.

"Jack, tell me **why** I feel so old all of a sudden." O'Neill gave him a glancing look.

"If I answer you then you have to tell me why **I** feel so damned old."

"Cuz you are?"

Jack growled menacingly.

They looked at Janet, still laughing. They decided she'd heard way too much of their conversation.

A couple minutes later, the doctor was able to talk without giggling.

"What were you going to say before doc?"

"Sorry, I was going to say that your tests came up negative, but there's an increased electrical current, not by much, and a few more white blood cells. But something is keeping them from clogging you two up." She walked away to put the test results on her desk.

"Sooo, are we okay?" Daniel wondered.

"Yeah, I can't fix the increased current or do much about the higher cell count, but if you guys feel the slightest bit sick, make sure you come running."

They looked at each nervously, stood at attention and saluted her. "Yes mam!" She smiled and saluted back.

"You're dismissed… or discharged."


	11. Thud!

sorry, i've been trying to get this out for the last 4 hrs... and i know that we had a "read only" time period there, but it's 8:34pm... sorry for the wait too, i just get writers block, gah! real fluff coming soon... i hope! this is a strange chapter, one i thought was poorly written, but thats up to you!

* * *

"Colonel?" 

"Uh oh," Jack whispered to Daniel, "It's Carter."

"Duh." They turned to face her.

"Hi Sam."

"Hi Carter."

"Daniel, sir," she acknowledged them both. She didn't _look_ like she wasn't going to bit their heads off… yet.

"Sam, you're not gonna kill us unpleasantly are you?"

She sighed and paused before answering. This made the men nervous. They held their breaths.

"Nope." Together, Jack and Daniel exhaled. Sam stared at them. "You thought I was going to kill you two, didn't you?"

They looked at each other and nodded at her. She sighed and put her hands on her hips.

"Come on. We need to evacuate a little bit of the plant," she said wearily and walked away down the hall. The two men followed willingly. They caught up to her and started chatting normally.

Outside the Control Room, someone needed Jack's undivided attention. The colonel rolled his eyes.

"I'll be right back, I hope." He disappeared off into oblivion for a bit.

"So Sam. What happened this morning?" Daniel inquired.

"Nothing much. I was drunk from last night and didn't realize it, that's all." Sam shrugged. Daniel tilted his head in disbelief and blinked. Sam wasn't going to tell hi anymore, so he didn't press it, but _didn't realize it_? Okay, sure.

Jack reappeared a few minutes later with a headache.

"Oy." Sam frowned.

"Are you okay sir?"

"Yep, just a headache, that's all," he groaned as his hand slid to his stomach. Sam didn't seem to notice this. She and Daniel took off down the hall again, Jack following.

"Did you finish translating the writing from P4C-967?"

"Yes actually. It's separated into two parts… but it seems to be graffiti."

"Graffiti? Whoa." Jack was bored, the topic was not in the **least** bit interesting to him. He felt like dropping to the floor and sleeping.

**Thud.**

Sam and Daniel spun when they heard a body drop. They turned to find Jack crumpled up on the ground. Carter went to him, knelt down, and checked her CO's vitals.

"Daniel, go get Dr. Frasier!" she yelled to him. She turned to see him go, but instead saw Daniel crumpled on the ground as well.

_Stupid fruit,_ was her last thought as she rushed to a phone and called Janet to the situation.


	12. Food Poisoning

Long awaited, I know and I'm terribly sorry! but here it is, what happens to Jack and Daniel? Enjoy!

* * *

"Uhhhh…." 

"Take it easy colonel."

"Mmm?"

"You're in the infirmary." Jack opened his eyes and a blurry picture unfolded. It started to swim, making his stomach unhappy, but finally settled into place. Jack gave his eyes a chance to focus then mumbled out an almost incomprehensible word.

"Doc?" he gurgled.

"Yes, it's me colonel."

"Ugh…." came a wayward groan from the bed next to him. Jack would have laughed if he didn't feel so god-damned awful. Daniel was literally green at the gills. Daniel's picture started to move and Jack closed his eyes again the impending nausea.

"Sir?" came Carter's worried voice.

"Yep?" he grumbled. "I'm good…"

"No, you're not." Jack tried to nod, but that only worsened the feeling. His stomach seemed empty, like a pit had buried itself deep in his gut. Ooh, that didn't feel good.

"Colonel, you've been in a comatose state for three days. Daniel woke up a couple hours ago then started slipping in and out of consciousness." She sounded like she was going to cry. Her voice wavered and Jack saw her bit her lip anxiously.

"What's… wha's… wrong?" he managed to croak. God, if Sam didn't move… Luckily, she stood up towards his hands, and away from his mouth.

"You… you and Daniel… the plant's fruits suddenly released a chemical into your bodies that made your white and red blood cells rebel and made your whole body chemistry go haywire." He knew she was putting it simply for him, and he thanked her for that.

"It's like cancer, only worse. And… and…" She'd gotten to the worst part and he knew it. He weakly grasped her hand. "And we're not sure if we can fix it." The horrid feeling in his gut rose and he uttered the quickest warning he could.

"Sam! Bucket…!" And it all came out. Luckily, it was not much since he hadn't eaten properly for days.

"Oh sir!" Watching her, the colonel saw a single tear roll from her eye. Feeling a tad bit stronger he spoke.

"Carter… we'll beat this thing," he paused for a ragged breath. "And I promise… never to eat foreign… fruits ever again." Through her pain, Sam smiled briefly. No matter what, the humor would always be part of Jack O'Neill. Janet, who'd been looking out for Daniel, came to Sam and rested a strong hand on her friend's back.

"Come on Sam," she whispered quietly. Jack gave Carter's hand one last squeeze and she left.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sam sat alone in the commissary, sipping on some coffee and reflecting – sort of. Hammond walked in looking specifically for the distraught major. He knew, even if she didn't show it, that she blamed herself in some small way. He sat at her table.

"Hi sir," she said meekly.

"Hello Carter." They sat in silence for a bit until Sam spilt her guts. "It's all my fault sir; I shouldn't have let them eat the fruit. I shouldn't have gotten hurt yesterday so I could tell them not to eat them. And now they're deathly sick!"

She broke down slightly; small tears trickled out of her eyes. Hammond felt bad for her. No one was in the commissary seeing as it was late at night. The general moved to the chair next to her and patted her on the back. Suddenly the major turned and pulled him into a hug which he graciously returned.

After crying herself out and bringing herself to realize who she was hugging, Sam pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry sir."

"It's okay, it's not everyday you get a shower from a friend." She chuckled a little and Hammond became serious again. "Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded. "Yes sir." He began to walk away. "And thank you sir."

"Anytime you need a shoulder. But don't make it a habit or otherwise I'll have to get new clothing," he threatened and walked out the door. Sam smiled after him. What a nice commanding officer she had. She, too, left the commissary to go talk with Teal'c.


	13. When Ya Gotta Go

I know... I know... its been FOREVER since i put out a chapter for this... _gets on knees_ and i'm SORRY! Could you EVER forgive me!

lol... anyway, the next installment... enjoy!

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She trot off to Teal'c's room, as it was late at night and time for his kel'nor'eem. She was afraid she would disrupt his kel'nor'eeming, but it was worth it. She needed to talk with him. 

A soft patter fell on the door. "Enter," said a soft deep voice from within. Sam entered and shut the door behind her.

"Hi Teal'c, I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"You are not Major Carter, please sit down."

"Thanks," she sniffled. They were content to sit in each other's silence for a while until Carter broke the silence.

"Hey Teal'c?"His head swiveled toward her. "What about the colonel and Daniel? How are they doing?"

"They are doing fine for now." Sam nodded meekly; perhaps she hoped she'd have gotten more out of him. "That is not all that troubles you."

"No, it's not, is it?" She chuckled weakly and sniffled again. "The fact that they actually ate that stuff! I mean it **is** a foreign species of plant from **another** world. Who listens to scientists any-" She realized what she was saying and looked at Teal'c. She blushed as he looked at her with a ghost of a grin and a cocked eyebrow.

"Indeed."

"I guess I'm just rambling on here, I'll let you continue on. Night Teal'c."

"Goodnight Major Carter," he bowed his head as she left.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

That night, an unhappy major sniffled in her room on the base. She couldn't believe how stupid they had been! Maybe she sniffled because she hadn't been there to tell them so. Sam thought they knew better than that. Well… then again, men and their appetites. Knowing she was going to have a sleepless night, Carter walked down to the infirmary to check up on the boys.

"Hey sir."

"Carter? Couldn't sleep eh?"

"Not with you and Daniel here."

"Understandable, I know exactly what you mean. I forgot to go to the bathroom, so I've been sitting here for the past two hours holding it in." She smiled and shook her head. "I'm gonna burst Carter!"

"Sam?" said a weary voice from next to Jack. She tended to the younger man.

"Hey Daniel. How you feeling?"

"Not so great. But you see, I forgot to go to the bathroom earlier…"

Fifteen minutes later found her limping down the hallway with two men. One in a wheelchair, having waaay too much fun for his own good and the other stubborn one leaning on her shoulder.

"Sir, you're heavy," Sam jibed.

"You're no lightweight yourself Carter." She pretended to be shocked.

"And how would you know that?"

"You have any idea how many times that man has carried you Sam?" Daniel piped up happily. Jack grinned.

"One too many."

Once reaching the bathroom, the men went and came back. Going back to the infirmary was a little more difficult than coming had been. Jack had fainted again and so she had to place her unconscious CO on Daniel's lab and wheel them both back. There wasn't enough room for Jack, so he kept falling off.

After once more try of placing O'Neill on the chair, he finally woke again.

"Whoa, what happened?"

"You passed out colonel."

"How long ago?"

"Right after your bathroom trip," she refreshed his memory.

"He passed out from the overwhelming relief!" Daniel sputtered. Jack and Sam looked at each other funny then at Daniel and started to laugh. One of the orderlies heard them and ushered them into the Lair again.

"That was fun," Jack muttered.

"Yep!" Sam muttered back. "Real lot of fun watching you two as you go pee."

"Now Carter, there **must** be some scientific word that better explains yourself than 'pee.'" Sam looked smartly at him,

"Do you really want to know sir?"

"Not particularly."

"Good."

Daniel had already conked out on his bed from the drugs that the "good ole doc" used on the poor man. Daniel couldn't even handle a beer and she doped him up on so many meds he couldn't see strai-- **thud.**

"Goodnight sir," Sam smiled.


	14. A CURE! Perhaps

would you believe that i actually forget about this one! it doesnt help when you go to camp for four weeks either... once again... i'm incredibly, incredibly sorry... i'll try to update this now that i have a working plot again... i didn't have anything to work with before... now i do! YAY! if i have any medical concepts that need to be tweaked or if anyone could help me with the medical terms... feel free to tell me!

thanks for your patience... and now... Chapter 15!

* * *

The next day, Sam came in with Teal'c to check up on Daniel and Jack… to see if they had any **pressing** needs. She walked in smiling, remembering last night's trip to the bathroom. That was interesting… 

They were as white as ever – even with their tans.

Sam was shocked; they'd declined that much since last night! She trot over to Janet and asked her a few questions.

"Janet, what happened?"

"The disease is eating up their red blood cells. It's kind of like leukemia, but the white cells are actually **eating **the redones.**" **Sam's face lost the rest of its color. Not only was there no treatment for leukemia, but this was a more serious and deadly version.

"Did you try radiation therapy?" she asked quietly. Janet nodded.

"The scientists are working on something that will slow down the mutant white cells. Hopefully it will kill off the mutant ones and leave the healthy cells, but that's a best case scenario." The major looked down at her feet then looked back at the colonel and Daniel.

"Thanks Jan." The doctor patted her back and Carter left. Janet stared after her and slowly shook her head.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lunch was a lonely and quiet hell.

Yes, Teal'c was there and that was rather comforting to her, but Teal'c didn't say much. Sam kept stealing glances at him, hoping that he might say something. Apparently her mind games paid off.

"Major Carter, is there something you wish to talk about?" She nodded while chewing her food and wondering what to say.

"The colonel and Daniel can't be helped as of now… the damned fruit introduced a disease which makes their white blood cells destroy their red ones." Teal'c nodded in understanding. "They only ate one kind of fruit… the scientists said the other kind was…" A sudden thought hit her. "Got to go Teal'c! I'll explain later!" With that she ran out the commissary door. Teal'c looked after her with a raised eyebrow.

She ran to the elevator and punched the button for the level of the invading plants. Earlier that day, Siler and his crew had cleared the plant out of the elevator shaft and controls.

"Come on… come on…. come on…" she anxiously urged the elevator on. Carter jumped from foot to foot. And finally! The doors opened to green plants. Grabbing a nearby basket, she ran off into the thicket. She saw a few of the pink-purple Boraples and a lot of the darker purple fruit. She quickly snagged one of the Boraples and at least a dozen of the dark purple ones.

After grabbing this, she zipped off back to the elevator. It was busy. She waited then, impatient, ran to the stairwell and right past the funny Marine.

"Hi mam!"

"Hi major!" Sam tore off in search of her friend Janet Frasier. Down the stairs she ran and out the door. She ran straight into the Lair and past her teammates.

"JANET!" Startled, the doctor looked out from her office.

"Hi Sam, what can I do for you?" Flushed, Sam explained.

"I got an idea. See, these darker variant," Sam held up one of these, "may be used to counteract the Boraples. The doctors had said that this version was poisonous. The Boraples aren't poisonous… if you can eat them in moderation. So if these fruits are the opposite of the Boraples…"

Janet smiled finishing Sam's sentence. "… then they might be used to save Daniel and the colonel!"

"Exactly!" Impressed and refreshed, Janet and Sam debriefed the general and then ran it by the scientists working on the cure. Carter made it known to the group that she would like to help now. They were more than happy to let her help.

"Well then, let's get rumbling!" she said to her crew, smiling in triumph.


	15. So Close

i know i'm slow on this one! dont shoot me... please? _cowers_ anyway, a recap... Jack and Daniel have fallen deathly ill as a result of an alien fruitand Sam is trying find a cure with a team of experience doctors.

go read! leave review... hehe

* * *

Sam and the various teams under her made slow headway on the cure. It was slow, but it was a cure all the same. Although Carter's field of expertise was astrophysics, she knew a great deal about medicine and the matter concerned the life of her friend and commanding officer. Not only that, but she was certainly willing to learn from the more experienced doctors.

She ran around like a madwoman checking on everyone even though she was the least experienced person on the scene. The doctors took one look at her, assured her all was fine, and returned to their work.

Sam sat down; irked that she couldn't really help. Well, she could, but all the doctors had it down pat. So instead the major brought out her laptop and 'hacked' into the work the doctors were doing. Not really hacking as much as viewing privately – they were all using the base's internal workspace. She frowned; one of the doctors – a Doctor Maya Caroff – was **not** using the workspace. In fact, one needed another password to get into her workspace. Carter looked up and searched for the doctor in the room.

Ah! There she was; sitting at the other end of the room they were all using. She was by herself and not on the "forum" of the others. Curious, Sam went for a chat with the recluse.

"Hi!" Sam greeted her kindly. The doctor turned her screen away from her before looking up at the scientist.

"Oh! Major, I'm sorry. Hello!" She was nice enough if not a bit paranoid.

"It's fine. What are you working on," she asked and paused. "If you don't mind my asking of course."

"No no no no… it's fine. Pull up a chair and I'll explain," Maya said in a hushed voice as if to keep the others from hearing her. Sam looked around and grabbed the nearest chair and sat down.

"Ok… so this is what I'm working on…"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

All the doctors began to become suspicious when Carter didn't do her half-hourly check-ups. Instead, she had been chatting with that female doctor… what's her name… Dr. Caroff for the last two hours. The two of them must have had something because they were talking animatedly now with Carter nodding her head enthusiastically and pointing to the screen of Caroff's laptop.

Needless to say the men were jealous that the beautiful major hadn't come to them and looked at what they were doing with such excitement. They had seen Sam cross the room to Caroff with a curious and 'what-are-you-doing' face on, but soon after they became best friends when Caroff explained something.

"I see what you mean!" Carter said in awe. She liked this woman, not only was she smart and thought out-of-the-box, but she picked up on small things that most of the other doctors in the room didn't. Caroff was a clever woman and a great doctor.

Now advancing along with Caroff's solution much quicker, they could have the inoculation done within hours. That included test runs on the computer and on living blood cells. Except one thing.

They ran into a minor problem – of course.

It was Caroff's decision to release her mysterious work into the workspace. All the doctors stopped and stared at what they had done. Carter winked at Caroff and strode to the front of the room to address all of them.

"Okay people, we have an advanced form of the cure for the colonel and Dr. Jackson. It seems to work properly until this... doctor?" Sam nodded to Caroff who started up a presentation of the cure in action. This was relayed to the projector and was shown on a giant white screen.

They saw the cure take over the bad cells, essentially eat them and get ride of them. Later, most of them grouped together and floated down to the liver to get processed. When there, the liver got rid of them and that was that.

The others that didn't follow the group stayed behind to see if there were anymore errant cells to destroy.

"Dr. Caroff, could you please advance this to approximately three hours later?" Carter asked. The slides sped ahead and slowed again to the normal pace.

The cure, falsely colored a dark blue, went up to a normal cell and flooded it with a small virus. In turn, the virus destroyed the normal blood cell and the disease started all over again. The slides ended and the room went dark. Someone flipped the lights on to reveal a very somber looking group – they knew this was going to be a hard one. Sam looked even more shaken.

"I think we have a large problem on our hands folks so let's get working on it."

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like it? hate it? hate me? like me? tell me something! 


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